BREAKING: The UFC to Make Every Main Card Fight For an Interim Title

The UFC will be making every single main card fight for an interim title from now on because fuck it, why not, it has emerged. Due to increased viewing figures from fights with an interim belt, and the ability to sell a fight as a title fight even when it obviously isn’t, the UFC will be cashing in. We went to Dana White for more

“We know how much fans loves title fights, and how much money they’re willing to spend when we hike up the PPV price for one” revealed the UFC president “the sad fact of the matter is, there just aren’t enough titles to go around. Then we remembered we’ve created fake, meaningless belts before, like the BMF, and fans flocked in their millions to watch two veterans go to war for it. It only makes sense to make every fight just as fraudulent.”

EA CEO Andrew Wilson was impressed by the move “here at EA we have always been number 1 in shameless cash grabs” bragged the tech boss “but this move from the UFC really is a step up. I haven’t seen fans exploited like this since loot boxes.” A spokesperson from Disney agreed “we have always paved the way with squeezing as much money as we possibly can out of people. I mean Porgs? Really?” he laughed “but this from the UFC is revolutionary”

Some have criticized the UFC’s decision, claiming it devalues the titles “they just don’t understand the fight game” explained Dana “this revolutionary system will allow for multiple world title fights in one night. When’s all said and done, we could have upwards of 3 world champions in the same weight class. As far as I’m aware, no other sport has ever done that. Certainly not any combat sport”

By Ben Nuñez

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