BREAKING: Jon Jones’ Ex-Fiancé Given Shot at Flyweight Women’s Championship

Jon Jones’ ex-fiancé, Jessie Moses, has been rewarded a shot at the women’s flyweight title, it has emerged. Combat hub’s sources inside the UFC can exclusively reveal that due to a 0-1 record against Jon Jones being a better resume than the entire 125lb division, Jessie being next in line for Shevchenko just made the most sense. We went to Dana White for more

“Despite how stacked this weight class is, according to our marketing department, we were really struggling to find Shevchenko’s next opponent” revealed the UFC president “There were several potentials contenders, Crystal – the one legged stripper Sean Selby had to pay off after BJ Penn got a bit grabby, Chookagian again, hell at one point we even considering stappling some rubber arms to a sandbag to give her a bit more of a challenge” admitted White “But then we saw Moses in the news and it all came together”

The UFC haven’t stopped there, head matchmaker Brian Alphaman is already eyeing up her first title defence should Moses be victorious “Let’s be honest, Shevchenko’s usual opponent is a wet towel propped onto the end of whatever broomstick we managed to rustle up the week before, so who knows, someone that’s gone toe to toe with the greatest ever light heavyweight and lived to tell the tale might shock us all, so we’ve already been on the phone to Audra Hughes who famously had many wars with the former welterweight champion, Matt” Alphaman revealed chugging a monster, keeping the logo pointed directly at us

Even the fans are excited by this new crop of talent shaking up the division, we went to hardcore fan Chad Hugecock who assured us he’s been watching MMA since 1993 despite being 17 years old “I’m so fucking pumped for these new fighters” he screamed between vapes “if anyone knows how to take a punch, is UFC fighters’ wives, this could really turn my piss break fights into the main events” he stated, flexing in his tap out vest

We went back to White for closing comment “I really feel like this could be a new era in the UFC, predicted PPV buys are through the roof, and Greg Hardy has already expressed interest in coming down to face the loser”

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