BREAKING: Spotify to Offer Joe Rogan Another $100 Million to Commentate Exclusively on Their Platform

Following Joe Rogan’s sensational $100 million deal to stream his podcast exclusively on their platform, Spotify have offered the comedian another $100 million to commentate the UFC exclusively also, it has emerged.

We went to full time CEO and part time neanderthal lookalike Daniel Ek for more “we have been extraordinarily happy with how popular the JRE has been and how many new fans and shit loads of money it has brought us” revealed the tech mogul “as Joe is almost as well known for his UFC commentary, and being almost as caveman looking as me, this follow up deal was a real no brainer” bragged Ek

UFC President Dana White had this to say, “when Daniel first approached us with this, we were initially totally against it” admitted the UFC boss “but once he talked about how much more convenient it would be for the fans to have to subscribe to yet another platform it suddenly all started to make sense. Of course, the 20% of the deal we’ll be receiving had nothing to do with it, we just want a better all-round experience for the viewer”

Not all fans are seeing the positives however, we caught head of UFC fan club Fighting for Ultimate Champions, or FUCs, Tim Mason, for comment “This is a disgrace and another shameless cash grab by the UFC. Now when someone gets mildly grazed by a jab, how will I know that HE’S HURT!? Who will break down how to synch in a triangle choke 7 minutes after it has already been escaped? Or when I’m not sure who is winning in a close fight, who’s bias will sway me towards the company’s narrative? They clearly haven’t thought this through”

Phrases like ‘shameless cash grab’ angered loyal UFC company man Daniel Cormier who swiftly came to the deal’s defence “Fans are overreacting, this is clearly much more valuable once you break it all down” revealed the Olympian “all you need to do is purchase ESPN, then ESPN+. Obviously, you’ll need to buy fight pass, then between $60-100 for the PPV. Finally, you’ll need Spotify to wrap it all up. Simple” explained DC, with a visible erection “but bear in mind, it’s only Joe that is on Spotify, so you will have to play your Spotify stream at the exact same time as the card plays” when asked if there was going to be some kind of package deal to bundle all this together, the former double champion bellow laughed before answering, “No”

By Ben Nuñez

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