Former UFC referee Mario Yamasaki has been fired from his new career as a hotdog eating competition judge after contestant George Baker died from choking, it has emerged. Known for his laissez-faire attitude towards the rules and safety procedures, the ex-UFC employee had this to say “I first noticed him in trouble when the 9th hotdog lodged up against the 7th and 8th in his larynx and he began to choke mercilessly. It may have looked dangerous, and it was, but I’ll never let someone go down without a chance to fight back and recover” he continued
We went to attending paramedic Tim Matthews for more “it takes the average adult male about 90 seconds to lose consciousness, then roughly 5 minutes to die, but Mario didn’t even let us on the stage until the 10-minute mark. We thought surely if anyone knows how much further damage an unconcious man can take, it’d be a former UFC referee” confessed Matthews
Fellow referee and long-time colleague Herb Dean was initially sympathetic for the Brazilian. “I watched the tape and felt Mario was completely in the right, Baker was still in there and we needed a few more seconds of unconsciousness before knowing he was really out.” We then showed Dean the exact same footage one week later “that’s disgusting, Yamasaki clearly acted too slowly. This barbaric late stoppage cost a man’s life” displaying Herb’s famous consistency
The leader of the Community of Hotdog Unions’ National Treasury Society, or CHUNTS, Derrick Finnity had this to say, “This is completely out of character for a judge as distinguished as Yamasaki, who never jumps in too late. Yes, I’m aware of the incident last month where he watched his neighbour’s home burn to the ground before calling the fire department, but he really thought the house could survive and fight back”
“No, there were no survivors”
By Ben Nuñez
The Combat Hub 