The Twat’s Guide to Defending Anderson Silva’s Resume

Are you an insufferable prick that just can’t accept it’s not 2009 anymore? Are you such a complete fucking moron you believe Anderson Silva’s resume is better than Adesanya’s? Congratulations, not only do you belong to a subset of humans that never should have evolved past a half fish/half land mammal, you’re also perfect for the second instalment of the Combat Hub’s ‘How to’ series. We all know Anderson Silva is the GOAT, or at least top 3, but unfortunately there are a lot of crazy fans who watch entire fights instead of just highlight videos on YouTube.

  • Pretend his competition was better than today’s

Now this isn’t as easy as it sounds, as I’m sure you have no idea who half of them are, as many of them spent most of their time at their normal jobs. Don’t let that deter you, bring up guys like Rich Franklin who by 2006 standards was elite, with his slightly above average stand up and… well I’m sure you can fill in the rest. And what about Yushin Okami who probably has a black belt in something? Exactly. But the two heavy hitters here are Vitor Belfort and Dan Henderson. ALWAYS call him TRTVitor regardless of whether he was actually on TRT or not, and completely disregard he was actually only kind of above average and incredibly inconsistent regardless of any PEDS. And always call Henderson a double Pride champion to make it seem like Silva fought that version of him.

  • “He even fought at light heavyweight”

If used correctly this will blow your opponents minds. They may be used to fighters changing weight constantly and fighting in an array of divisions, but back in our day you just didn’t do that, unless you were Anderson Silva. I know that doesn’t sound impressive in any way but hear me out, LHW is, was always, and probably always will be the most talented weight class. Look the absolute killers Silva fought there, Forrest Griffin, who isn’t just a docile heavy bag with Alzheimer’s, but a… *checks notes* oh Jesus, former champion of the UFC. Silva toyed with this all time great like he was on Xanax or somethi… *checks notes* shit really? Right well anyway, if you keep asserting Forrest Griffin and *checks notes* Stephan Bonnar?! Okay, just stick to Forrest, with a vague recollection of his lacklustre victory against Rampage, your opponents will be sure to concede.

  • “You don’t remember how great he was? You must be 12”

The best thing about the internet is you most likely know absolutely nothing about the person you’re arguing with, and don’t let that stop you. Anybody who disagrees with you must be significantly younger, it has nothing to do with your arrogance, you’re stubborn un-evolving opinions or, God forbid, someone knowing more than you about MMA, they’re simply just a child who probably only started watching since McGregor. If they say that they’ve been fans for years, they’ve just provoked a war, and it’s your job to ensure he knows how massive your cock is by mentioning older and older MMA you used to watch. Go back to King of Pancrase if you have too. If push really does come to shove, get creative, make up an underground Vale Tudo VHS from 1972 you used to watch. They will be so impressed by your supreme historical knowledge; they will definitely give up.

  • Call them a casual

This is your coup de grace, you’re final weapon. Anyone deemed a ‘casual’ is banished to the nether regions of the internet, and rightfully so. Be warned, this is as powerful as Forrest Griffin’s prescription, and it is not limited to conversations about Anderson Silva, this can be used for anyone who has a different opinion to you. In this instance, Silva’s resume and title reign. The number 16 usually only excites Pat Barry, but when we’re talking about Silva’s title win streak, that number invokes emotion in us too, and strangers on the internet need to understand, if they disagree, they simply are not fans of the sport enough. Nobody understands why ‘casual’ is even an insult, similar to why nobody understands how Chael Sonnen is just as good a win as Robert Whittaker. But it doesn’t matter, all that matters is you’re right about this.

By Ben C

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